Tiffany (misstiff) wrote,
Tiffany
misstiff

Out with the boys

I get frustrated with this probably every week or so and I'm just not sure if it's justified and at what level.. maybe it's just a compromise that's needed.

I try to translate it into "normal people" terms, but it's hard.  Now he works evenings.. hell when I work I work evenings.  But so on a good week we have two evenings together a week.  thus like "normal people" two mornings or days together.  Well L has friends from his previous job that want to go out like once a week(or more seriously) and just go to a bar and drink.  Now I won't admit that I am crazy about the being out at all... but go out for a few hours not a big deal... what gets frustrating or what seems to really get me is that when he gets home he's drunk.. not drunk enough to be sick or falling over himself but enough to be silly, which is fine for M, she loves it.. and then drunk enough to pretty much fall asleep wherever his body lands.

Now I know that I'm the mom and she's my daughter and on some level my responsibility, though I believe strongly that it is shared duty/responsibility between both of us.  But every night I make dinner, I get her ready for bed and I put her to sleep.  It would be really nice if on the two nights that L is home he could do bath time, he could put her to sleep, he could argue with her over dinner, or even god forbid we could all eat dinner together. 

I understand that our times are swapped.. that having lunch together as a family is really the best we can hope for right now.(not that we really do that too often either)  I understand that I also enjoy getting out of the house one night a week when I go to knitting, but I have to argue that when I come home I still play parent.  As much as I would like to come home and continue knitting, I don't. 

I also have to point out that L is really a great Dad and this is the one hiccup that really gets to me...  he more then not gets up early with her and lets me sleep cause I am no morning person.  But I just have to mention that I usually am up with her at dawn when she wants to nurse.. though I do usually fall mostly back to sleep and if I'm lucky so does she.  Now he gets up early with her and does the breakfast thing and this is all after he works till 11:00 and usually comes home and stays up for a bit.. so really it's a great move on his part.

Maybe it's a compromise that needs to happen... like can you go out and drink with the guys, but come home sober enough to do bed and bath time?  I mean is that too much?  I mean what's the trade off when it's daytime that they are gone and then it's the weekend?  Does mom still do everything?  Isn't it kinda normal that Dad does Sunday morning breakfast or something?  I really don't have much of personal experience or anything, I can't remember living with 2 two parents.

Am I being too whiney and I should just suck it up that it's my job?

I mean, I know this is a bit off, but if there is ever another I'm not going to be able to do everything... and I guess that's what the trade off is, most of the time (5 nights a week) I do have to do everything, so the 2 nights that he is home, it would be nice to have some help and not a snoring lump on the couch.  (hee hee.. that's mean, but true)
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